The Day My Future Changed

I still remember the day i found out i was having a baby, I'd been arguing with myself for days refusing to believe i actually might be having a baby. You see a few days before I'd met my mum and sister who both said "you better not be having a baby any time soon" see i was 18 years old only been in a relationship for just over a year, my family didn't agree with it because the 7 year age gap. 

but here i was 8:00am on a Friday in the toilet crying and begging that i was just late because i didn't want to be a disappointment to my mum, i had no career, no home Jesus Christ i lived in a foyer for young adolescents plus no one knew that mine and my partner at the times relationship was on the rocks there was shouting, violence and control. 

So i looked down and it said positive, i locked my room and made my way to (lets call him Derek for identity purposes) Derek room and woke him up. his response wasn't what i hoped for he grunted and went back to sleep leaving me to panic about what we were going to do for living arrangements and money. 

As time went on our families accepted we were having a baby and we even found a new home to live in, we found out we were expecting a little girl we named Chloe. 

Now like many mums I was meant to feel excited and overwhelmed by having a baby, but I felt like a robot programmed to be the best mum when I didn't i was prettified and frightened.

But as time went on my love grew for her as she began to babble, smile, talk and walk. 

Now she is three and this is where the struggles begin...